


Please come home for Christmas

by Estelle



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-15 21:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16941240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estelle/pseuds/Estelle
Summary: Harry is gone, and James thinks he will be alone this Christmas. But sometimes miracles happen.





	1. Outside – “(Walking in a) Winter Wonderland”

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lockedinmybody](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockedinmybody/gifts).



> For Happy Jarry Holidays on tumblr. Also dedicated to the lovely Lisa, because she got me into shipping this <3
> 
> Since all the days are Christmas song themed, the overall title had to be one too. I chose this [Kelly Clarkson song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8mKGNyUp7A) because I think the lyrics fit perfectly.

James was in a horrible mood, but that was not much of a surprise these days. Christmas was only a short time away, and while he was not a sentimental person and usually didn’t care much about the festivities, a few weeks ago, he had dared to dream about spending the holidays with Harry, of cosy nights cuddling on the sofa and drinking hot chocolate, and lazy mornings unwrapping presents (and each other) under the Christmas tree.  
But then the literal and metaphorical storm had hit, and he had pretty much lost everything. Not only had Harry gone through with the wedding to that sorry excuse of jogging bottoms after all, but now he was gone from the village entirely, and James knew that it was at least partly his fault.  
He kept replaying that night over and over in his head, Harry telling him he loved him, and begging him to open the door and let him stay. James had not been in a state of mind to believe him though, with everything that had happened that day, and then on top of it all, Harry seemingly only coming to him because Ste had found out about them, not because James was his first choice. And how he could ever have thought that he could actually be the first choice of someone as brilliant, bright and beautiful as Harry was now beyond him. He should have anticipated that this would happen, but he had still oh-so-stupidly broken all his rules and fallen irrevocably in love. And now here he was, heartbroken and hurting.  
Deciding not to dwell on it for now – as if that would ever work – he stepped outside his house, and of course it had started snowing. James didn’t like it very much, especially not the soggy slosh you mostly got in England, but he allowed himself a moment to imagine it: A walk in the park with Harry, a few snowflakes glistening in his hair, cheeks rosy from the cold, the Christmas lights creating a beautiful backdrop, holding hands and sharing kisses that taste of mulled wine and sweet promises, then coming home to warm up, Harry pressing his cold hands to James’ sides under his shirt, eyes crinkling with laughter, more kisses and… He stopped himself there. It was too painful to think about.  
Besides, he had other things to worry about. He had a son now, who he was still trying to get to know, with no idea how to handle the situation. So maybe this Christmas, he should focus on his family, instead of dwelling on what could have been.


	2. Peaceful – “Silent Night”

The next day, he wasn’t sure how well “focusing on his family” was working. He had met Romeo for coffee, but it had been awkward and stilted, Romeo too shy to really say anything, and James having no idea what to say to a son he never expected to have nor wanted.  
Eventually, they had given up on sitting in silence and were now walking through the village, which James soon found to be a tremendously bad idea, because it reminded him of his fantasy of doing this with Harry.  
“I’m sorry I’m such bad company”, Romeo said quietly, and James shook his head.  
“No, this is on me.”  
“You miss him, right?”, Romeo asked carefully, and he sighed. He wasn’t one to share his feelings, but surely he could open up to his son?  
“I do”, he admitted.  
Romeo nodded. “I’m sorry. I should have done more to stop the wedding.”  
James frowned. What a stupid thing to say! If anything, it was himself who should have done more. But before he could say as much, Romeo suddenly elbowed him in the side, pointing across the square, and when James looked up, he saw him: Harry, standing across the road, not having seen them yet. He looked beautiful. Not that he didn’t always look beautiful, but there was something about him in this setting, the snow softly falling, a children’s choir singing “Silent night” in the background, and the Christmas lights creating a softly glowing halo around him.  
And when he finally looked up, and their eyes met, James felt calmer than he had in weeks.


	3. Heart – “Last Christmas (I gave you my heart)”

James was rooted to the spot, not quite believing his eyes. After having fantasised about it for so long, he wasn’t completely sure that his imagination wasn’t playing a trick on him. Unable to look away out of fear that Harry would simply disappear if he let him out of his sight, he couldn’t do anything but stare.  
The moment seemed to stretch into eternity, until Romeo pushed him gently. “Oh my god, go to him!”, he urged, and James finally stepped forward.  
This seemed to spurn Harry into action too, and they met halfway across the square, hugging tightly, and James’ heart sang.  
“You’re really here”, he murmured into Harry’s neck, and when he slightly pulled back to look at him, James couldn’t helped himself and just kissed him. And when Harry kissed him back with equal passion, all felt right with the world for the moment.  
An indefinable amount later, they slightly pulled back, breathing hard and smiling brightly, and of course staying wrapped up in each other.  
“James”, Harry whispered, saying his name like something profound and amazing and infinitely important.  
Not wanting to hear anything else at the moment, James quickly kissed him again.  
“Come home with me?”, he proposed and Harry nodded.  
They weren’t far from James’ place, and once the door was firmly closed behind him, James pressed Harry against it, kissing him intensely. Harry pulled him closer immediately, and for a while they were lost in the feeling of having each other so close again.  
Then Harry pulled back, looking unsure. “Shouldn’t we… talk?”  
James sighed, knowing that this had been coming. “Not now. Let me – let us – have this first”, he pleaded, and Harry nodded, and kissed him again.  
James knew that he had lost his heart to this boy a long time ago, there was nothing he could do about it, but if he was to have it broken once again, he at least wanted to enjoy this one night before the inevitable happened.


	4. Cold – “Let it Snow”

The next morning, James didn’t want to open his eyes, because surely last night had been a dream. Harry coming back to town, back to him, still wanting him, and them spending a sensational night together was too good to be true.  
But then he felt something move beside him, and finally did open his eyes, and there he was: Harry was smiling at him, looking deliciously dishevelled but also slightly unsure. James couldn’t do anything but smile back and leaned over to kiss him, and the doubt on Harry’s face made way for quiet wonder.  
“You still want me here”, he said, sounding amazed.  
“I always want you here”, James replied, maybe a bit too honest. But wasn’t that how he’d always been with Harry?  
“Even after… everything?” Harry sounded uncharacteristically shy, and James sighed. He didn’t want to come back to reality just yet, but he supposed that he did have to face it sooner or later. And it seemed to be that sooner was the case.  
He pulled Harry close again, kissing him softly, hoping that this wouldn’t be the last time he got to do that, before he replied: “Yes, even after everything. Don’t get me wrong, I was hurt, still am, if we’re being honest here. But that night… everything was just too much.” He shook his head, not wanting to relive that yet again.  
Harry nodded. “I know. It was crazy. But… it’s still true what I said. I still love you. And you… you haven’t moved on then?”  
“Moved on?” James almost laughed at the absurdness of that idea.  
But Harry looked unsure again. “Yeah. Yesterday, you and that guy looked very… close.”  
“Oh! Oh no.” James did laugh a little now. “Romeo is my son.”  
“Your son? I mean, you said it on the phone, but I don’t understand.” Harry looked a little lost, and James could relate immensely.  
“I know, it’s insane. I can still hardly believe it myself, but here he is. To be quite honest, I still have no idea how to deal with it all.”  
Harry smiled now. “I’m sure you’ll do great”, he said softly and James found that so endearing that he just had to kiss him again, and when Harry readily kissed him back, his heart skipped a beat.  
“So I think we can confirm that I have very much not moved on. But… there’s still the fact that you married _him_.” He managed to put a lot of disdain into that one syllable, and Harry ducked his head.  
“I know. But I don’t love him. I love you. And I’ll fix this. If you give me the chance.” And Harry looked at him with so much conviction in his beautiful blue eyes that James allowed himself to hope.

A while later, they had to regrettably leave the bed, because James had a meeting with a client that he couldn’t postpone.  
Once he was done with that, he fully intended to get Harry back into his bed, because even though there was still a lot to talk about, he felt that they might have a real chance this time.  
He decided to get them coffee before heading home, but when he entered the café, he stopped dead in his tracks. Harry was sitting in a corner with Ste, and it didn’t look like they were angry or sad, but they looked content to be together.  
Seeing that, James felt cold all over. Why was he so stupid to allow Harry such a hold of his heart, only to have it shattered time and again?


	5. Alone – “Lonely this Christmas”

So James went home without getting coffee, trying to reason with himself that maybe it wasn’t what it looked like, maybe Ste had cornered Harry and he didn’t want to make a scene in public, but they had been on and off for so long, it really shouldn’t be a surprise that Harry had chosen Ste once again.  
Ignoring the texts from his mother and Romeo, he heavily sat down on the sofa, not sure what to do now. He knew that he was moping, but this was so much worse than before. If Harry hadn’t come back at all, then maybe he would have gotten over it eventually, but this was just a nightmare. Having everything he wished for in his grasp and then having it ripped away once again was just too much. Last night was still fresh in his memory, how could it not be, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Harry in his arms, smiling at him, declaring that he loved him.  
And he had believed him. Why did he always believe him, only to end up alone once again?  
He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there, but a knock on his door startled him out of his thoughts. He didn’t want to answer at first, but his visitor seemed to be very persistent, so he got up with a sigh, and when he opened, of course it was Harry.  
He smiled up at James and stepped forward to enter, but James merely crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, even though his heart ached to reach out and let Harry in.  
“James, I…” Harry frowned. “Is everything okay?”  
“I don’t know. Is it?” James tried to sound cold, but he wasn’t sure how successful he was.  
Harry seemed to visibly deflate, his shoulders sagging. “You changed your mind then?” He sounded sad and unsure, and James hated to be responsible for that, even now wanting nothing more than to console Harry and make him happy. But he wasn’t the one who was allowed to do that, was he?  
“Doesn’t matter, does it? I’ve seen you with him.” He still managed to sound completely disgusted by the mere idea of Ste, and Harry looked shocked for a second.  
“Oh, no! It wasn’t like that, I swear! Please let me explain!”  
And James really couldn’t say no to him, so he sighed and stepped to the side. “Come in then.”


	6. Presents – “All I Want for Christmas is You”

They settled reluctantly on the sofa, Harry obviously unsure of how close to sit, and finally deciding to leave a bit of distance between them.  
“So?”, James prompted when Harry just stared at his hands, and he couldn’t take the silence anymore.  
Harry’s head shot up, and his eyes were wide and pleading, and James desperately wanted to reach out, but he waited.  
“Right. I did meet with Ste, but it’s not what you think! I ran into him, and I told him that I wanted the marriage annulled, and he agreed. See, he’s met someone, or I don’t know, it doesn’t matter, because I want to be with you, that’s all I want! I love you, James Nightingale, I really really love you!”  
James was sure he had stopped breathing. This was all he ever wanted, and hearing it now, finally having it within his reach, seemed too good to be true. He realised that he had taken too long to react when Harry’s face fell and he looked back down at his hands.  
“But you don’t believe me. Or I’m too late. Of course I’m too late, how could I even think that you…”  
James didn’t let him finish and just leaned forward to kiss him. Maybe it all seemed too easy, but at this moment, that was all he ever wanted to hear, and he didn’t care if it was just a dream, or a lie, he just wanted to enjoy it.  
When he pulled back, Harry looked at him with an expression of such hope and love that he felled warmth spread in his chest.  
“You believe me then?”, he asked, and James had to smile.  
“Maybe I shouldn’t, but I do. I love you too, Harry. All I wanted was for you to come back.”  
Harry was smiling too now. “I couldn’t stay away. I missed you so much, I just had to see if you would give me another chance.” He looked down then. “I honestly didn’t think I’d get this lucky.”  
Softly, James lifted Harry’s chin up, so that he could look him into the eyes, and slowly brushed his thumb over his cheek, where a lovely blush was forming. “I missed you too. And I didn’t think I’d get this lucky either”, he confessed, and Harry laughed softly.  
“We’re quite the couple, aren’t we?”  
James grinned. “That we are”, he confirmed, Harry’s eyes widening when he realised what he had just said. Before he could doubt himself though, James pulled him forward into another kiss, and when Harry kissed him back passionately, moving even closer, he allowed himself to think that maybe this time they finally had a real chance.


	7. Dezemberträume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is “Creator’s choice” and I wanted to stick with the Christmas songs theme, so I chose my favourite one [Dezemberträume](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyCDkE_ntVE)(December Dreams).

A week had passed, and it was now Christmas Eve. Harry had moved in with James, not having anywhere else to go, but also James not wanting it any other way. They had spent most of the time wrapped up in each other, James having taken time off work, and only leaving the house when they needed to get groceries. They always got a lot of looks when they did, and James knew that they were the talk of the town, but for once he couldn’t care less if people gossiped about him, he finally had what he wanted, and there wasn’t a lot that could happen to spoil his mood.  
Tonight, they were invited for Christmas dinner at his mother’s place, and when they arrived there, Harry seemed to be quite nervous.  
After being greeting warmly by everyone, Ellie and Romeo already having arrived, James gently put his hand on Harry’s lower back and leaned in, softly asking: “Is everything alright?”  
“Yeah, just…” Harry seemed a bit embarrassed. “It is okay that I’m here?”  
Even though he was almost whispering, Marnie heard him and stepped closer and took Harry’s hands. “Of course it’s okay. You’re part of the family now.”  
Harry seemed overwhelmed by her easy acceptance, and James saw his eyes welling up. Pulling him closer, he placed a kiss on his temple, then smiled at Marnie. “Thank you, mother.” Harry just nodded, still too emotional to say anything, but leaning into James’ touch.  
“Of course.” Marnie waved them off. “Now come on in.” She pulled Harry along, and following his family into the dining room, James thought that maybe, Christmas wishes did come true after all.


End file.
